tsk.

do you know the feeling when you miss someone so much
and somewhere in your chest it's actually aching?
tsk. lately it happens a lot. x'(

here i am writing about this in blog instead of telling the person. cowardliness??! again T_T

still, the songs are lovely

dua lagu yang sedang menjadi soundtrack saya belakangan ini. gila dah acid house mantapss


"say yes if you love me
no if you don't care
peace if you're asking me not to be there."


"this heart is a stone, no one will ever break it.
this heart is a stone, close to you it breaks easily.
coz everything that they say tells me to go away.
but everything that I feel, tells me to stay."


For now, only for a while.. i dont care, i choose to say yes and stay.
oh yes some love has no sense. no brain. no pride. nothing. fuck.
i just hope the karma will not slap me in the face later on.
kampret. cukuplah curhat colongannya.

yesterday's gone forever

woa, haven't write anything here for a very long long time.

and yet there are so many things had happened that i'd really like to write and remember!
oh well too late, yesterday's gone forever..

so i'm back home. jakarta.
at first i thought i will be like the busiest person ever. going here and there, just wander this town till every bit of it. meet everyone i know, watch every movies, fill my craving for indonesian's food, whatever things like that to assure my 3months holiday worthwhile.

the reality is..
jakarta's traffic is horrible more than ever, and you can't really blame it on anybody.
not to mention the weird weather caused by this whole global warming issue.
kinda affect your mood in a way..
then my car got sold. syit.
why now?? why didnt my parents sold it many days before and get a new one as soon as i'm home, ackh.
as much as i hate driving here, i hate it more to depend on a driver and a single car that my whole family needs.
call me spoiled or whatever but i won't even consider to ride with kopaja or metromini xp

so until now my holidays are spent mostly on lots of sleep, songs, and facebook-ing that i start to get really tired of, hhaha.
but hey i enjoy this, im enjoying this extremely laid back times of mine.
good opportunity to reflect about myself and thinking of great things i should do in the future...
en blah. who am i to fool?
the truth is laziness once again has defeated my desire to achieve something useful.
i might as well go to sleep again. hehe

ah, and now it's raining again, lots of thunder.
i just hope for someone, wherever he is, is save and sound..

tuhan, luluskan aku coms3000

AAAARGH!!
im doomed.

saw my first assignment and midtest result today. guess what?

dari jeritan gue di awal post uda jelaslah ya.

not good.
suck.
hancur.

for this coms3000 course, information security
which i know is not a hard one.
gila yah, mid 9 out of 20?
nyet, itu gagal banget.
soal cuma multiple choice 20biji doang.
syiit, ngga hokinya parahh.

i know i know

i did underestimate the test.
i never study.
blajar baru paginya sbelum tes, cuma liatliat soal taun lalu pula.
seems like my stupid self thought that im still in ui depok.

not to mention all the lectures i skip.
oh and the tutorials.
gara2 ada bahan2 hibahan dari pandu uda lengkap.
i thought i already save.
uda ngga usalah blajar2 lagi.
gitu pikir saya.
dulu..
giling berasa jenius aja

i deserve this goddammiiitttt

terus
first assignment.. 16 out of 20
good? not really.
i was expecting moooore, sial

nyesel abis sekarang.
iyalah.
mana mungkin nyesel di awal2.
hikshikshikshikss

damn, it's totally bad and this is only the beginning..

so sorry mama sorry papa x'(


I WILL DO BETTER!!
no more skip classes or tutors from now on!
extra study at home!!
ugh. that better works


well..

brighter side of the day:
my anya bag has arrived and it's great, hhe
dont wanna think about all the money i spent for ebay.
not yet.

rite now i'll just enjoy the stuffs. hahaa

ode to my family

i wish i had my laptop everywhere.
banyak banget hal yg muncul tibatiba dan tak beraturan di tmpat yg tak terduga, dan begitu gua uda siap mencurahkannya di blog ini, di depan monitor they all just gone. whoosh.
mo dikit2 nyatet juga males de. hoho yaudala..

mm
you don't always get what you want, but apparently you'll get what you need.
i feel this a lot lately. then again, i said to myself, to embrace what i have instead of thinking about things i dont have, yet :)

last night i miss my family more than ever. these regrets of what i did, and didnt do to them back then keep coming in my mind.



understand the things I say,
don't turn away from me,
'cause I've spent half my life out there, you wouldn't disagree.
do you see me? do you like me?
do you like me standing there? do you notice?
do you know?
does anyone care?

unhappiness where's when I was young,
and we didn't give a damn,
'cause we were raised,
to see life as fun and take it if we can.
my mother,
she hold me, when I was out there.
my father,
he liked me, oh, he liked me. Does anyone care?

understand what I've become, it wasn't my design.
and people everywhere think, something better than I am.
but I miss you, I miss, 'cause I liked it,
'cause I liked it, when I was out there. do you know this?
do you know you did not find me. you did not find me

the opening act.

gua nge-blog.
haha finally eh?

my first post. masi bingung mau nulis apa. hehe.

maybe i just realized how many things ive forgotten in my life. memang saya pelupa. tapi sekarang bisa saya tulis disini dulu sebelum lupa, hehee. i want to remember as much as i can, buat dibaca 10 taun lagi misalnya, asiiik xD

i like reading other people blogs.
it reflects so much personality menurut gua, can be entertaining, thought-provoking, inspiring, even boring.
yang keren ato kampungan sekalipun hihi

then to improve my writing skill. yang ini nih..
halah, iya tau bikin paper sama nulis blog beda jauh. but still, this might do some good to me, or not :p

oh im soo officially a blogger now, kyaaha